When to Consider Seeking Therapy: Part 4
The Cost of Coping
How Unhealthy Habits Can Quietly Drain You and How Therapy Can Help
Not all pain looks like a breakdown.
Sometimes, it looks like working late every night to avoid being alone.
Or drinking “just to take the edge off.”
Or endlessly scrolling through your phone instead of sitting with your thoughts.
Or saying “yes” to everything, while quietly resenting it.
Or staying busy, always busy, because slowing down feels unbearable.
These are coping mechanisms, and in many ways, they’ve helped you survive. They may have even protected you at one point in life. But over time, they can start to hurt more than they help.
If you're feeling exhausted, disconnected, or like you're constantly running on fumes, it may be time to look more closely at how you’re coping and whether it’s really working for you anymore.
What Unhealthy Coping Can Look Like
Substance use – Drinking, smoking, or using drugs to escape or numb emotional pain
Overworking or overachieving – Using productivity to avoid feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness
People-pleasing – Constantly prioritizing others to avoid rejection, conflict, or shame
Emotional eating or restriction – Using food (or lack of it) to feel control or soothe distress
Social withdrawal – Isolating yourself to avoid vulnerability or rejection
Compulsive behaviors – Scrolling, shopping, gambling, or sex to distract from anxiety or boredom
These coping habits often work temporarily. But they come with hidden costs: disconnection, burnout, shame, or escalating emotional distress. They may quiet the pain for a moment, but they don’t resolve what’s underneath.
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy doesn’t just ask, “What are you doing?” It asks, “Why?”
It creates a nonjudgmental space where you can explore your coping habits with curiosity, not shame. A therapist can help you:
Identify the emotional needs your coping behaviors are trying to meet
Understand the root causes of your patterns
Build emotional regulation skills so you can tolerate discomfort without self-sabotage
Develop healthier, more sustainable coping tools
Cultivate self-compassion, resilience, and balance
You don’t need to “hit rock bottom” to deserve support. The fact that you’re functioning doesn’t mean you’re thriving, and it doesn’t mean you have to do it all alone.
Next in the Series: Part 5 – Not in Crisis, Just Curious
We’ll explore how therapy isn’t just for emergencies or mental illness. It’s also a space for growth, clarity, and becoming more fully yourself.
